How Santa uses IAC-EZ

Happy holidays! It’s that time of the year when (most of us) shut down our businesses for two days (okay, let’s be realistic, a day and a half!!!) and we break out the stockings and the tree and the turkey. And for just a few hours we forget about the recession and the challenges that we might be facing in our company and we simply revel in the faces of our kids when they tear open the wrapping paper to reveal a really cool toy!

But, as an entrepreneur who talks to entrepreneurs, let’s be realistic for a moment and admit that even in our downtime, there’s one small part of our brains that are focused on work – thinking through problems, brainstorming ideas, etc. And so, even on days like this, I think about IAC-EZ. And, in keeping with the season, I wonder how Santa would use IAC-EZ.

Interestingly, Santa doesn’t have a lot of income. In fact, I’m not sure how he makes money at all (except, perhaps he gets a small percentage from all those shopping mall appearances?) I don’t know.

But expenses. Oh, Santa has expenses! There aren’t actually a lot of items, but each expense is massive:

Reindeer food: 8 tiny reindeer who need to be housed and fed and exercised for 365 days of the year. And likely, a couple days before Christmas, they all need to carbo-load on pasta to have the energy to fly around the world in one night.

Sleigh upkeep: One sleigh may not seem like a lot. But this sleigh needs to carry toys for good little girls and boys (and presumably coal, although I’m doubtful about that one). So it needs to be big, but it also has to land like a feather. And it needs to be able to fly quickly because there are billions of children that need gifts – in just one night. I’m sure that there are probably only one or two truly qualified sleigh mechanics in the world who can create and maintain a sleigh of those parameters. Those mechanics aren’t going to be cheap.

Elf wages: What do you pay an elf? I have no idea. But Santa doesn’t run a sweatshop so we can be sure he’s not cheap about it. And they do make high quality products (except that one time, when I was a girl, my Barbie’s head fell off ON CHRISTMAS DAY!!!). Probably skill upgrades need to be paid for by Santa, as well.

Raw materials: Toys don’t grow on trees. They’re hand-crafted with loving care by elves. (Or at least that’s what I’m told). And that requires tons of material shipped with care to the North Pole. (Hmmm, now that sounds excessively difficult and costly).

Bottom line? Zero income. Billions of dollars each year in expenses. That might seem like an unwise business strategy but on April 15th, you can bet that Santa pays no taxes!